


A Month In France

by rensbloom



Category: Holby City
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-16 04:10:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11820945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rensbloom/pseuds/rensbloom
Summary: Bernie steps off the Eurostar and into Serena’s arms. This is a story about that moment, and about every moment after.





	1. The Station

Bernie stepped off the Eurostar and was almost immediately confronted with the sturdy, warm body of one Serena Campbell wrapping itself around her own. She smelled of the country, smelled like warm earth and sunshine and wine. Bernie knew that she, on the other hand, smelled of instant coffee, which she’d been chugging for the entire journey. She didn’t care. Knew that in a few days, her skin would be tanned like Serena’s, her hair sun-bleached, and she too would carry the smell of French countryside around with her. The thought made her smile into Serena’s hair. It was shorter now, greyer – she’d stopped dyeing it, and Bernie thought it made her look even more beautiful, if that was at all possible.

Serena pulled back, looked at Bernie properly. Stroked a thumb across her cheek, as if she couldn’t quite believe she was here. Bernie wondered if she should kiss her. She wanted to, but she was nervous, and Serena looked a little nervous too.

Bernie was the one who spoke first. “Hello,” she said, intending it to sound flirtatious and big-macho-army-medic-esque, but her voice betrayed her and instead it came out soft, a little tearful. She gave in to it. This was Serena, she could be herself. “Oh, God, I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Serena dabbed quickly at her eyes with her thumb. “Oh dear, look at me! Tearing up already.”

“Big girl’s blouse,” Bernie teased, but affectionately, nuzzling the tip of Serena’s nose. Serena sighed, mimicked the movement.

“Major?”

“Mm. Yes, darling?”

“I can’t help but notice you haven’t kissed me hello. And while I don’t doubt that’s because of your unfailing chivalry and selflessness, you don’t have to tiptoe around me.”

“Is that your very roundabout way of asking me to kiss you?”

“Well, yes, I suppose it is.”

“In that case…” Bernie leaned in, brushed her lips fleetingly against Serena’s, then drew back again. “There.”

“Is that all I get?”

“Hmm. For now.”

“Don’t you dare tease me, Wolfe. I’ll have you know I’m very keyed-up here.” Serena pouted at the blonde, putting her arms around her neck and drawing her marginally closer.

“I’m not teasing you.” Bernie leaned closer to whisper in Serena’s ear. “All I’m saying is that if I start kissing you the way I want to kiss you, there’s a chance we may get slapped with a public indecency charge. My self-control is perilously low at present.” She breathed in sharply as Serena’s fingertips slid downwards to dance along the base of her spine. “And getting lower.”

“In that case, I think it’s about time we headed home.” Serena’s smirk was positively wicked as she leaned down to pick up one of Bernie’s two cases. “If I may be so bold as to say we’ve got a lot of catching up to do and we need all the time we can get.”

“Aye aye.”

Serena grinned, slipped her hand into Bernie’s like it was the most natural thing in the world. Bernie felt some of the tension that had been lodging itself in her chest bit-by-bit all morning start to cease. _She’s still my Serena_ , she thought with a smile as they made their way out of the station hand-in-hand.

Anyone who knew Bernie would have told you that she wasn’t religious by any stretch of the imagination, but as they stepped outside into the soft summer rain and Serena turned around to give her that beautiful, sunshine smile, she found herself silently thanking God.

Was a month long enough with this wonderful woman? Was an entire lifetime even long enough? Never. But it was what she had – a month in France – and she intended to make the most of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Further chapters will be longer – this is sort of like a prologue or a taster. I haven't properly done a multiple-chapter fic before, so I hope this is to everyone's satisfaction!  
> Xo Ren


	2. Nemesia

Serena was renting an apartment on the outskirts of Marseille. As Bernie climbed out of the taxi behind Serena, their hands still tightly entwined, she gaped at the beautiful building in front of her. It was made out of sandy-coloured bricks and boasted large sliding windows and elegant balconies that Bernie could imagine Serena stretched out on, soaking up every last ray of sunshine. Even in the rain, this image was vivid. She hoped that soon she’d get to see it for real.

“Mine’s up there.” Serena pointed with her free hand at what seemed to be the fifth floor. Bernie could just about see onto the balconies.

“With the stripy towel hanging over the railing?”

“No, to the left of that one.”

“Ahh. The one with the plants.” Bernie could see a couple of potted green shrubs, most likely herbs, and some stunningly vibrant flowers from where she was standing, but from a distance it was difficult to identify them exactly. Serena seemed to read her thoughts.

“Don’t worry. I’ll give you a guided tour as soon as we’re up there, and that includes the names of all the plants, how often they need watering and where I keep the coffee mugs. You’re going to need the energy, with the amount I’ll be working you.” Serena’s wink confirmed she’d meant the last part as a double entendre.

They took the lift up to Serena’s apartment, still holding hands, and when they stepped out Serena led the way up the hall to her door. Bernie stood fidgeting behind her as she unlocked the door, feeling suddenly shy. Serena was evidently a little nervous too; her fingers were trembling as she twisted the key in the lock.

“I hope you like it,” she said as she pushed the door wide open so Bernie could see inside. “It’s not much, but I’ve grown rather fond of it.”

“Oh, Serena…it’s beautiful.” Bernie couldn’t help but stare as they dragged the cases inside, finding Serena’s free hand and tangling it with hers. It was small, but not poky; open-plan with a pine kitchen-diner and a cosy-looking living space that led out onto the balcony. The floor was made of shiny wood and topped with various soft, colourful rugs, and to Bernie’s left there were a couple of doors to separate rooms. One was ajar and Bernie could tell it was the bathroom; Serena would never have painted her bedroom blue. The other door, the one furthest away from her, was closed.

“It’s only a one-bedroom apartment,” Serena said, nervously raking a hand through her hair as Bernie turned to face her. “I hope that’s all right?”

“More than.” Bernie took her into her arms. “It’s perfect.”

Serena’s eyes shone. “I’m so glad you like it. I always hoped you’d get a chance to come over here and enjoy it with me. But…well, it’s only recently I’ve felt up to it.”

“I’m so glad you did.”

Bernie took the plunge, leaned in and kissed her. She felt Serena smile as she reached up to tangle her fingers in her soft blonde curls. This kiss was different from the one they’d shared at the station; tender, slow. Neither of them felt any need to rush things. They were relearning each other, relearning how it felt to kiss, to touch, to love.

They broke apart still smiling. The look on Serena’s face reminded Bernie of their second kiss in the office back in Holby. She was glowing. Bernie pressed another soft kiss to her lips, then another, and another, until Serena was giggling.

“I thought I was giving you a guided tour?”

“It’s much more fun kissing you.” Bernie nipped at her lower lip, teasing.

“Hmm.” It was very difficult to get huffy with an adorable, soppy Bernie, especially when Serena was very much enjoying being kissed. “At least let me show you the plants. I’ve spent a lot of time on them.”

“In a minute.” Bernie kissed along the side of Serena’s neck and grinned as she whimpered in response.

“I said no teasing, Major.”

“I know.” Bernie pressed a last kiss to the side of Serena’s neck then straightened up with a sigh. “All right. Tour now, bed later.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Serena took Bernie’s hand and led her around the apartment, starting with the kitchen. She was true to her word and showed her where everything was: the cutlery, the wine glasses, and of course the coffee mugs. Bernie sneaked a peek in the fridge while Serena’s back was turned and was pleased to find a good selection of healthy food and only one bottle of Shiraz. Even the fruit bowl was well stocked.

“Were you worried I wasn’t eating?” Bernie turned around to find Serena watching her, a fond smile on her face.

“Well, for a while your texts were few and far between. I thought maybe you weren’t coping.”

“It hasn’t always been easy. I’m sorry I wasn’t very diligent with keeping in touch. My head was just in a fog at the beginning. I hardly spoke to anyone.”

“Have you been in touch with Jason?” Bernie asked as she closed the fridge and crouched down to inspect the freezer.

“Not for a while. He’s sent me the odd couple of messages to ask how I’m doing, but nothing beyond that.”

“I suppose this has been tough on him too. He really cares about you, Serena.”

“I know. That’s what makes it difficult.” Serena heaved a sigh. “Some days I feel like I’ve let everyone down.”

“How could you possibly?” Bernie straightened up, satisfied with the freezer’s contents, and took her partner’s hands in her own. “You’ve been grieving, darling. You’ve gone through something no parent should ever have to go through. Believe me, you haven’t let anyone down. You’ve been incredible through all this – strong, and brave. I’m so proud of you.”

Serena looked up at Bernie, her eyes shining with tears. She said nothing, just put her arms around her and pulled her close. They stood still for a moment, content to just be silent, listening to each other's heartbeats.

“Bernie?” Serena whispered.

“Yes, darling?”

“I hope you know – even when I was in a mess and hardly contacting you – I never forgot about you. I’ve thought about you every day, wished more than anything that you were here with me. Now that you are…” Serena drew in a shaky breath and stepped back, reaching up to cup Bernie’s face in her hands. “I don’t want to spend too much time crying, or wallowing, because I’ve done enough of that already and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my grief dominate our relationship. You make me so happy, Bernie, so unbelievably happy, and I asked you to come and see me because I think it’s time I embraced that feeling. Not only because it’s what Elinor would want, but also because I love you.”

Bernie gazed at her for a moment, feeling her eyes well with tears. She turned her head to kiss Serena’s palm. “I love you too, darling.” She’d said it into the silence of her empty bedroom late at night, she’d whispered it to the empty chair in their office on the loneliest days, she’d thought it over and over as the Eurostar sped all-too-slowly to her destination and now, she was finally saying it to Serena herself, the one person she could truthfully say it to. “So much.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I wasn’t sure, you know. Whether you were totally sure how you felt. Whether you were just too wrapped up in grief to feel anything at all.”

“Oh, Bernie.” Serena kissed her, softly. “Nothing can take away my love for you, you hear me? Nothing. I’m just sorry it took me so long to tell you.”

“You didn’t need to.” Bernie nuzzled the tip of Serena’s nose like she’d done at the station. “I knew, deep down. Despite everything.”

They kissed a little longer, simply because they could, before Serena finally led Bernie out to the balcony to see the plants. They were beautifully maintained, and on inspection, every one of them smelled divine, whether they were herbs or flowers. Serena watched as Bernie bent down to examine each one. She was awestruck.

“I couldn’t do this in a million years,” she marvelled, touching the petal of a delicate pink begonia. “They’d all die within a week if I was taking care of them.”

“Oh dear. Perhaps I’d better relieve you of plant-watering duty, then.”

“Fired before I’ve even started. What’s this one?”

“Verbena.”

“It’s beautiful.” They were tiny little flowers, some white, some lilac, surrounded by long green leaves. Bernie smelled it. “Is that lemon? Can’t be.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of lemon verbena?”

“I’m not much of a gardener, I’m afraid.” Bernie looked sheepish as she peered at Serena from under her fringe.

“Oh, darling, I don’t mind.” Serena stepped forward and put her arms around her partner’s waist. “The fact that you’re interested enough to go around admiring them all is good enough for me.”

“Can you blame me? They’re stunning.” Bernie pecked Serena on the nose. “You’ve done a wonderful job.”

“Which is your favourite?”

“Those, I think.” Bernie pointed to a cluster of red, pink, yellow and orange flowers all in the same pot. “They’re like a sunset.”

“Those are nemesia. They bloom all summer.”

“Beautiful.” Bernie’s voice was reverent, and it made Serena’s heart swell. She leaned up on her toes and kissed her, and Bernie made a soft sound of approval, sliding her hands into Serena’s hair. Boldly, she slid her tongue along her lower lip and Serena gasped, fingers tightening at the base of her spine.

“You know,” she whispered when they finally broke apart, breathless and flushed, “I think you’re well enough acquainted with the plants now.”

Bernie couldn’t resist teasing. “Are you sure? I don’t think we should leave them just yet.”

“Oh, don’t you? And why would that be?”

“Well, you see, I think they’re already rather fond of me. I don’t think they want me to leave. Look, that blue flower over there’s crying.”

“That’s the rain, Bernie. From which, I might add, we’re barely sheltered as it is. Come on, come inside.”

“I can’t. I don’t want to upset the flower.”

“Are you sure?” Serena brushed her lips against Bernie’s ear, speaking in a low, seductive purr. “It’s lovely and warm in my bedroom.”

“Hmm.” Bernie turned her head to capture Serena’s lips with her own. “In that case, maybe I could be persuaded.”

"What about the flower?"

"Oh, well. He'll live."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent five solid hours of today looking up as much information about balcony gardens as possible while writing this. I could probably lead a presentation on it now.  
> Totally gratuitous sex is on its way, I promise.  
> Xo Ren


	3. Lost For Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note rating change!

Serena was right; the room was warm. Not only that, but it was painted (rather predictably) the colour of Shiraz and the bed was large and soft. When they’d stepped inside first, Serena closed the door behind them then turned around and took small, hesitant steps back into Bernie’s arms, which were open and waiting.

Despite her earlier show, her whispering of the extent of her sexual frustration into the blonde’s ear, she was more than a little shaky. They’d not had very long to fully explore the physical side of their relationship before Elinor had passed away, and needless to say Serena hadn’t been ready for anything further for a long time after that. And of course, months had passed when they hadn’t seen each other at all.

She looked at Bernie, her eyes large and shiny, and Bernie gazed back at her with an expression that was just as adoring.

“Okay?” she whispered.

Serena nodded, fingertips playing with the hem of Bernie’s blouse. Bernie waited, knowing instinctively that Serena wanted to make the first move. They’d go slow, she thought, and she’d let her take control. That way she’d be comfortable. The last thing she wanted was for Serena to freak out and back off, and as much as she hated to admit it to herself, that was still a possibility at this early stage in their reunion.

“Bernie?” Serena whispered, her bravado from earlier on that day evidently lost. It was scarier actually being here, knowing it was about to happen.

“Yes?”

“It may not…be like before.” Serena nibbled at her lip as she looked at her partner. “It probably won’t be like before. Not for a while.”

“I know, darling.” Bernie reached up to cup Serena’s cheek with her hand. “And that’s okay. Just promise me you’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable or want to stop.”

“I will. I promise.”

“We’ll go really slow, okay?” Bernie leaned in, brushed her lips against Serena’s just lightly, like she’d done in the station. It was enough, she thought, just to kiss her like that, just to be in each other’s arms. She’d never thought, in a million years, that she could love someone like this.

When she drew back, Serena slowly lowered them both from where they were standing at the foot of the bed onto the bed itself. She gazed down into Bernie’s eyes; they were so tender, so full of love. Settling on top of her, they resumed kissing. Hands didn’t wander, only traced languidly through hair, until Serena grew brave enough to find the hem of Bernie’s blouse again and slowly start to lift it upwards.

Bernie watched as she raised it just enough to expose the pale skin of her stomach. She heard Serena draw in a breath. “Okay?” she whispered.

“More than.” Serena leaned down and pressed a kiss just above her belly button, continuing to kiss a path upwards as she raised the shirt higher and higher. Upon reaching the lace of her bra, she pulled the blouse up and over Bernie’s head completely, throwing it aside. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest. She was even more beautiful than she remembered.

Bernie looked at her through her fringe, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth in a way that made Serena’s heart melt. “We can stop any time you want,” she whispered.

“I know, darling.” Serena took Bernie’s hand, raised it to her lips and kissed it. “But please don’t just lie there frozen. I promised I’d tell you if I’m not comfortable, and I will.”

Bernie nodded, tracing the edge of Serena’s jaw with her fingertips. The atmosphere was electric. She wanted nothing more than to touch Serena, to stroke the same fingertips over the soft buds of her nipples, to curl inside her silky heat, but she restrained herself. Serena would go first, as promised. She’d have her turn later.

Still, she leaned up on her elbows to meet Serena’s lips, daring to deepen the kiss, and Serena let out a tiny whimper that Bernie felt right between her legs. She licked into Serena’s mouth and heard her whimper again, slightly louder this time, but quite obviously a plea to continue and not to stop.

Serena jumped a little when she felt Bernie’s hands at the base of her spine, starting to raise the hem of her shirt.

“Sorry,” Bernie whispered guiltily, flushing a little as she let go.

“No, no.” Serena took her hands and replaced them. “It’s okay.”

Bernie studied her carefully, not totally convinced, but found only sincerity in Serena’s deep brown eyes. “Sure?”

“Sure.”

In one swift motion, Bernie pulled Serena’s shirt over her head then tugged her down so they were flush against each other. They resumed their kissing, but the intensity was growing and growing and Bernie knew it wouldn’t be long before their desire would get the better of them. The months had stretched out painfully and now they were here, almost skin-to-skin and kissing like fevered teenagers, it was nigh on impossible to resist. Her soft skin, the warmth of her, the taste of her lips…Bernie felt as though she’d been lost in the desert for months, and Serena was her oasis.

Serena appeared to be thinking along similar lines, starting to tug at the straps of Bernie’s bra. Bernie started to lift herself up to help, but her lover had other ideas. She tugged one of the cups aside and dipped her head, taking a nipple into her mouth, and Bernie keened and tangled her fingers in Serena’s hair, pulling her closer. Serena laved the nipple with her tongue, alternating between sucking and nibbling, until Bernie was almost crying out for release. She hadn’t even touched her yet and already she was so keyed-up she could hardly breathe. Reaching behind herself with her free hand, she fumbled with her own bra until the clasp finally snapped and she threw it to the ground. There was a chance she’d broken it. She didn’t care.

“Eager,” Serena murmured, pressing a quick kiss to Bernie’s lips before returning to lavish attention on the other breast. She knew she was sensitive there and she was damned if she wasn’t going to give Bernie Wolfe the best orgasm of her life after all the months they’d been apart. She flicked her tongue against the nipple and Bernie whined, arching off the bed into her waiting mouth.

“Darling, please,” she moaned, fingers grasping at the bedsheets, knowing she shouldn’t be begging but unable to hold it back. The back of her neck was sweaty, her clit throbbing almost painfully. “Please…”

Never one to disobey orders, Serena slid down Bernie’s body and started to fumble with her jeans. Her fingers were shaking. She wanted this, wanted it so badly, but she still felt nervous. There was a whirlwind of emotions in her heart, many confusing and strange, but all of them screaming for Bernie, and that was how she knew. She was ready. She couldn’t hold herself back from this any longer.

She tugged off the jeans, tugged off the pants with them, settled between Bernie’s legs. She breathed her in, nosing into her bush, and suddenly the air was so heady with the scent of her arousal and their combined desire that she couldn’t help herself. She swiped her tongue right up her centre and Bernie gasped and bucked beneath her. “Oh, Serena,” she moaned, and then she lost all coherency as Serena found her clit and circled it with her tongue. It was sweet nonsense, punctuated with tugs to the hair and occasional whimpers and yelps as her pleasure built and built.

When she knew Bernie was right on the edge, Serena slowly eased two fingers into Bernie’s silky, waiting heat and felt her clench tight around her, and she almost came just from that sensation. Sliding back up Bernie’s body, they kissed and kissed as she curled her digits inside her, waiting until she heard that familiar growling at the back of her lover’s throat, and then she held them there, stroking over and over the same spot until Bernie slammed her head back against the pillows and cried out as she came hard, her orgasm surging through her like a river bursting its banks. Serena continued stroking the same spot to soothe her through the aftershocks, watching her beautiful face, her flushed cheeks, her heaving chest, only removing her hand when Bernie finally opened her eyes.

Bernie’s mind was racing. It was the most intense, most amazing orgasm she’d ever had and she wasn’t sure there were words in the English language to describe it. Maybe there were words in Ukrainian? She had to say something.

Serena chuckled as she watched the blonde’s face catalogue all these complex emotions without once attempting to speak them. “Lost for words, darling?”

“That’s one way of putting it. I don’t think I can ever move again. You’ll be hard-pressed to make me go grape-picking with you after this.”

“I assume there was a compliment hidden in there somewhere, Ms Wolfe?” Serena leaned down to press a quick kiss to Bernie’s lips.

“There certainly was, Ms Campbell.” Bernie cupped her face in her hands, stroked a thumb over her cheekbone. “That was incredible. No, more than incredible. Best of my life. Absolutely worth waiting for.” Her hands slid down her back to cup Serena's backside. “There is one small problem, though.”

Serena's heart raced at the look of desire in Bernie's dark eyes. “And what would that be?” she whispered, helpless to suppress her moan as Bernie gave her backside a teasing squeeze.

“I can't help but notice you're still wearing most of your clothes…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I've been super busy, but I promise I'll be quicker on Chapter 4!  
> Don't worry, there's more Berena sexy times to come - in fact, most of this fic will be made up of moments such as this, so I hope you enjoyed ;)  
> Xo Ren


	4. In The Morning

Bernie woke late, tangled in bedsheets, the sun streaming from the window and bathing her in light that peeped through the edges of her tightly-closed eyelids. She opened them, found the bed beside her empty. Felt worried for a moment, then heard footsteps moving around in the kitchen outside. Smiled.

She was stiff, she noted, as she pulled herself out from beneath the sheets. This was to be expected. They’d stayed up for hours, tracing each other’s bodies with slow, trembling fingertips, pressing kisses to favourite places, to birthmarks and scars, to all the things they’d missed, until they were suitably relearned. Places that now thrummed with the love that had been lavished upon them. Bernie touched the little mole on her breast, the one that made Bernie squirm when kissed, the one Serena had returned to again and again. She ran her hand down her body to the curve of her hips, where Serena had held onto her as her mouth worked at her clit. It had been slow at first, finding their rhythm, but then faster, a little rougher, as the occasional bruise on Bernie’s skin would prove. She hadn’t been rough with Serena; she knew she needed more time for that. But as Bernie had touched her, stroked her, delved into her with three fingers, Serena had sunk her teeth into her shoulder and she hadn’t minded, had hardly felt it, buoyed up as she was on all the perfect moments she’d been dreaming of for months and was finally getting the privilege to experience. If memories were kept in boxes, as some people said, this one was golden and jewel-encrusted and she would wear the key around her neck, never letting it out of her sight.

She stood, scanned the floor for something to wear. Her blouse was absent, she realised after searching the room for a minute or two. Serena’s oversized teal jumper was by the bed in a crumpled mess; she picked it up and tugged it over her head. It was deliciously soft on the inside, and long enough to cover the tops of her thighs.

Not only was she stiff, but she was also hungry; her stomach was growling away, and the little French-style vintage alarm clock that sat on Serena’s bedside table said it was nearly half past ten. The bedroom door was ajar; she quietly pushed it the rest of the way and stepped outside.

Serena was standing with her back to Bernie, a tray half-filled with various breakfast items in front of her – pastries, orange juice, fresh fruit – the kettle still hissing as she filled two mugs with coffee. Bernie hovered for a moment, just looking at her. She wore Bernie’s blouse over a pair of pyjama shorts and her hair was sticking up at all angles. Bernie couldn’t help but smile. She’d seen Serena in so many ways – dressed to the nines with a full face of makeup and freshly dyed hair, in scrubs with tired eyes and messy hair, laughing, tearful, angry – and yet, without a doubt, this was when she was most beautiful. Without pretence, without anything at all, wearing Bernie’s clothes, with all the greys in her hair showing through. She was beautiful.

Careful not to frighten her, Bernie sneaked up slowly and, just as she’d put the kettle down, wrapped her arms around Serena’s waist, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder where the blouse had slipped. “Good morning,” she murmured against her still-bedwarm skin.

Serena turned in her arms, kissed her properly; Bernie could taste coffee on her lips. “Good morning,” she whispered back, her face bright and happy. “You were out for the count. I thought I’d…” She gestured to the tray.

“It looks wonderful.” Bernie pecked her smiling lips. “As do you, in my blouse.”

“Can I keep it? I think it rather suits me.”

“Only if I can have this jumper. It’s so soft, it’s heavenly.”

“Ahh, I got that from a little shop down the road from here. It’s one of the places I’ve been planning on taking you. Fancy a trip down after breakfast?”

“Okay. I still want this one, though.”

Serena smiled at her fondly, wrapping her arms around her neck. “I don’t suppose you bothered looking at the label?”

“No, why?”

“Good. Don’t.” Serena gave the blonde a quick kiss then turned back to the tray. “It would have rather spoiled the surprise if you had.”

“Hmm.” Bernie nuzzled her nose in her hair, surreptitiously starting to reach out towards a bowl of fresh berries on the tray. “Surprise, you say?”

“Indeed.” Serena spotted Bernie’s creeping hand and slapped it. “And don’t think you can distract me with affection, buster,” she added as Bernie pressed little featherlight kisses against her neck, but she was wrong; for as she spoke Bernie’s hand shot out again like a bullet and pinched a strawberry. “BERENICE!” she barked, whirling around in her arms, but it was too late. The strawberry was gone, the only sign it ever existed a spot of juice on the corner of Bernie’s smirking mouth.

“Sorry,” said the blonde, smiling in a way that didn’t make her look it. “Mm. Was that from your balcony garden? I thought I saw a strawberry plant out there yesterday.”

It was very hard to be annoyed with Bernie, Serena thought, smiling as Bernie licked the spot of juice away from the corner of her mouth, when she noticed things the way she did. When she crept up on her to kiss her good morning. When she was just her wonderful, adorable self. “I would’ve done that for you.”

“Done what?”

“Got rid of the juice.”

“Let me have another one and you can.”

“Nice try.” But Serena was smiling as she turned back around, and smiled more still when Bernie stayed pressed up behind her, keeping them as close as two bodies could be, watching her prepare more berries for the bowl. She debated slapping Bernie’s wrist again when she reached for another strawberry. Decided to let her have it, and when Bernie’s sweet lips hovered at her cheek, turned to kiss the juice away after all and found that the taste of Bernie combined with fresh strawberry was better than she could have imagined.

“About that surprise…” Bernie murmured once Serena had turned back again. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you say the shop is only one of the places you’ve been meaning to show me?”

“I see you’ve been paying close attention, darling. I hoped you would. Yes, it’s going to be rather a busy few weeks. You see, I’ve been making a list.”

“Oh?” Bernie pressed a kiss to Serena’s jawline, lingering there for a moment to breathe in her scent. “What kind of list?”

“Well, I’ve been doing a lot of exploring. Marseille is very beautiful, you know. Lots to see. Things you’d never find at home.” Serena turned in Bernie’s arms. “Things I couldn’t imagine not sharing with you, at some point. Of course, I wasn’t sure if you were coming to visit at all when I first started, but…”

“Hang on a minute,” Bernie interrupted, gently putting a finger to Serena’s lips. “You’re telling me you made a list of all the best places you visited? So you could go back again…with me?”

“Well, I…yes, I suppose.” Serena went a little pink. “It probably sounds ridiculously soppy. They’re not famous landmarks or anything like that, most of the time they’re just little hidden-away country places, but I thought maybe you’d like them too. Of course, you can tell me if you don’t want to, I wouldn’t blame you if you found it terribly boring being dragged around all day, I don’t know what I was thinking actu – mmph.”

Bernie cut her off with a kiss. This one lasted much longer than the others they’d had so far. It tasted of coffee and strawberries, and after a while it became difficult to maintain because they were smiling too much. They broke apart, reluctantly.

“Serena,” Bernie said tenderly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her partner’s ear. “There is nothing I would love more than to see all those places with you.”

Serena’s eyes shone. She said nothing, just smiled, so Bernie kissed her again because there were no words to describe how that smile made her feel. The closest she could get, she thought, as their grinning lips moved clumsily together, was if the world ended, if everything plunged into the dark, if there were no trees or flowers or oceans but if she could still see that smile…well, it would be more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually got a chapter out fairly quickly! My grades will suffer because of it, but such is life.  
> We're getting into the nitty-gritty now, so chapters should be longer in future.  
> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Xo Ren


	5. Berenice

They started with the shop.

Bernie refused to take Serena’s jumper off; it appeared to have adhered to her skin, such was her love for it. Serena sighed, rolled her eyes a little, kept Bernie’s blouse as compensation. Perhaps Bernie might have felt silly walking down the damp grey pavements of home wearing a jumper that was obviously too big, but this was Marseille, and the jumper smelled of Serena, was nearly as soft as Serena’s skin. Besides, when she put leggings on with it she looked like everyone else on the street – sleepy, smiley, doubtless not long extracted from bed. She wondered whether Serena had got used to late starts, taking it easy, the things she’d never had the luxury to enjoy at home.

Bernie hadn’t bothered with makeup – she rarely did – and when she saw Serena reaching for her mascara when they were getting ready, she pushed her hand away. When Serena turned to look at her questioningly, Bernie simply shook her head.

“You don’t need it, darling. You’re so beautiful the way you are,” she’d said, and the smile she received in return only served to prove her point.

So now they were here, walking down the street – not holding hands, but close enough for their shoulders to brush. Bernie briefly debated taking Serena’s hand, decided against it – maybe she wasn’t ready, plus she wasn’t sure what the locals’ attitude was to homosexuality. It wasn’t the best even at home – the first time they’d held hands in public, when they’d braved the icy cold of December to do some Christmas shopping, a group of drunken youths had walked past them and slurred out an insult that Bernie had heard many times before but shocked Serena enough to drop Bernie’s hand like a hot potato. Bernie still remembered vividly how it had felt and didn’t fancy reliving it now.

“Are we nearly there?” she asked instead, and Serena chuckled, nudged her shoulder playfully.

“We’ve only been walking a few minutes. A woman of your calibre should be able to go for miles without stopping.”

“I think you’re forgetting that we were up late last night engaging in some _very_ advanced physical manoeuvres, Ms Campbell. You’re lucky I’m walking at all.”

Serena said nothing, but a rather self-satisfied smirk crept across her face and Bernie resisted the urge to kiss her senseless.

They walked a few minutes longer, occasionally stopping to glance in the windows of other shops they passed. “Is it this one?” Bernie would ask, and Serena would chuckle and shake her head. By the time they reached the end of the street and Serena had responded in the negative seven times, Bernie was starting to lag behind. Serena turned to find her trying to twist her jumper around to read the label.

“Don’t you dare!” Serena darted forward to pull her hands away, but Bernie stepped back just in time. “It’s around the corner and if you ruin it now after we’ve walked all this way…”

“You’ll what?” Bernie’s eyes were still glinting with mischief, but her hands had ceased their tugging. Serena considered, glancing around to check they weren’t being watched too closely, then stepped right into Bernie’s space, so close she could hear the hitch of her breath.

“Well, Ms Wolfe,” she purred, “let’s just say there won’t be any more… _advanced physical manoeuvres_ …for a long, long time.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Bernie’s grip on the jumper slackened.

Serena didn’t break eye contact. “Are you sure about that?”

Bernie was fairly sure, but not sure enough, and it most definitely wasn’t worth the risk. Sighing, she let go of the jumper and returned her hands to her sides, pouting like a scolded child.

Serena smirked again, but thankfully refrained from making any further comments. As they continued to walk, Bernie noticed there was a definite spring to her step and was glad she’d caught her before she read the label. It was worth the walk, and having to control how much she wanted to kiss her, if it made her happy.

They rounded the corner and Serena stopped in front of Bernie so abruptly that she nearly walked into her. Automatically, Bernie started to raise her head to read the name of the shop, but suddenly there were hands over her eyes.

“Ah, ah, not yet.” Bernie sensed Serena re-manoeuvring herself so that she was behind her. “Just a bit further down. I knew you’d do that.”

“I suppose you’re going to be my guide dog now.”

“Of sorts.” Serena leaned in close to the blonde’s ear. “Keep walking and I’ll tell you when to stop.”

“Astonishing. My guide dog speaks fluent English.”

“And a bit of French. You might get to hear it if you’re good.” This part of the street was quiet; Serena risked nipping at Bernie’s earlobe. Bernie responded to this by nearly walking directly into the stream of oncoming traffic to their left, but Serena pulled her back just in time.

“If you don’t mind me saying, Major, your sense of direction needs work.”

“I do mind you saying. And you’re one to talk. Your guide dog skills are abhorrent.”

“We’ll have plenty of time to work on it.” Serena pulled them gently to a halt. “And on that note, my darling, we’ve reached our first destination.”

“We’re here?”

“We are. I have to say, this is probably the least exciting of the lot, but it is the birthplace of this jumper you love so much. And of course, there’s something rather special about it, or it wouldn’t have made the list.” Bernie could hear Serena’s smile. “It’s named after something I love more than anything else in the world.”

“I’ve got it. It’s called Shiraz, isn’t it?”

Serena chuckled. “Close, darling, but no cigar. No, it’s something I love even more than Shiraz.”

“More than Shiraz?” Bernie sounded genuinely befuddled. “Well, then. I’m lost.”

“Think harder.”

Bernie felt Serena shifting them both around slightly so they were facing towards where the shop would be. “No, really. I’m stumped.”

“Bernie Griselda Wolfe. Think.”

It was this that finally made it click. Serena never said _Bernie_ Griselda Wolfe, and there could only be one reason why she was saying it now. “ _Oh_.”

Serena grinned. “Has the penny dropped?”

“I think it might have. Only one way to find out.”

Serena dropped her hands to her sides and Bernie opened her eyes and looked up at the curly white letters above the door. She smiled. Felt Serena put her arms around her waist and bring their bodies closer together. Smiled wider.

“I went here every day at the beginning,” Serena said softly, so only Bernie could hear. “It seemed rather symbolic that a shop named after you was at the bottom of my street. And I hadn’t brought all that many clothes, so anything extra I needed I bought here, and when I was in the apartment and lonely, when I wanted to reply to your messages but just couldn’t find the strength, I’d put on a jumper from here, or a cardigan, and feel like a piece of you was with me. Silly and sentimental I know, and as I said, it’s probably the least exciting thing on the list, but I promise they’ll get better…anyway, do you like it?”

Bernie couldn’t speak for a moment. She was too choked up. All that time when Serena was hardly contacting her and she’d been worried that she didn’t want her anymore or she’d moved on, Serena had been missing her so much that she’d sat in her apartment all alone, wearing clothes she’d bought from a shop named after her simply because it was named after her. Bernie had never been loved that much by anyone.

“Bernie?” Serena prompted, gently.

Bernie turned around to look at Serena properly. Her perfect Serena, fresh-faced and glowing in the sunlight. “It’s wonderful,” she said, knowing her eyes were sparkling with tears but past caring. “Just wonderful, Serena.”

People were milling around, busy and bustling, almost knocking into them where they stood in the middle of the pavement. The air was dust and sunlight, drawn in and out from a hundred different pairs of lungs. Bright warmth beat down on them, illuminating Serena’s face, every line, each strand of her hair. She was the most beautiful woman in the world, and she was Bernie’s, and Bernie wanted to kiss her.

So she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To echo Serena's words, this is the least exciting of the surprises - they'll get more interesting as we go on ;)  
> Hope you enjoyed and thank you so much for all the kudos and comments - they've brought light to an otherwise dull day so many times and I'm so grateful.  
> Xo Ren


	6. Sunset Gazing

Marseille in the morning was beautiful. Beautiful when they ventured out, beautiful when they stayed in and gazed out over Serena’s balcony, watching the world. Bernie had found a new love for waking early; she’d hated it before, because the association with early mornings was army training and that certainly wasn’t a memory she relished. She remembered those days in the hot desert sun with Alex, but there was no love attached to them any more, hardly any fondness. Those memories started losing their grip on her the moment she looked into Serena’s breathtaking onyx eyes, and now she scarcely gave them the time of day.

Today was one of those mornings. Bernie had been in France for nearly three days; yesterday they’d spent the morning at Berenice, and then, much to her delight, Serena had taken her hand and walked the length of the streets with her, introducing her to all the shop-owners she knew, who greeted her with warmth. Bernie discovered that Serena had mentioned her to almost everyone, and two of them even knew she was coming to visit.

As the day went on, her urge to kiss Serena never subsided, but her trepidation about doing it did. She’d press her lips to her temple, her cheek and occasionally her lips, as they passed through quieter corners of town, hid behind shelves in the supermarket, and each time Serena’s eyes would sparkle a little more, her cheeks grow a little rosier, and Bernie felt her heart lift, the pain of the last few months fading away in the shadow of Serena’s smile. Nothing was better.

When they got home that night, Bernie cooked dinner – she’d got a lot better in the last few months, given the amount of times Jason had demanded one of Auntie Serena’s risottos and she’d had to dig the cookbook out. He’d stayed with her for a while; he said that being with Bernie helped him feel closer to Serena, and Alan didn’t quite have the same effect. But a few weeks passed and eventually he headed to Alan’s, seeing the shadows under Bernie’s eyes darken and observing how she stayed in bed as long as she could on the weekends. Jason was perceptive, but more than that, he was kind.

They’d eaten dinner, they’d shared a glass or two of wine, but there’d been no rush to go to bed. Serena switched on the TV – she’d had found a couple of English channels, but more often than not she kept the French on and translated as much as she could. Sometimes if she understood something she’d whisper it in Bernie’s ear, and as the evening went on the low mumble of the TV faded, masked beneath soft gasps and whimpers and moans.

When darkness fell they made their way to the bedroom, crawled under the covers and back into each other’s arms. Serena laid her head on Bernie’s bare chest, brushed her lips against her collarbone, and Bernie wished she could stay in the moment forever, never leave the bed, never leave France.

But morning had come and with it the sun, bright and insistent, tugging her from sleep. They’d moved position in the night; now Bernie’s body was curled around Serena’s, her nose buried in her hair. She shifted a little to press a kiss to her bare shoulder. It still didn’t feel quite real, that a few days ago she’d been in Holby, lost the trauma unit, and now Serena was back in her arms. In a month’s time, she’d be in Sudan. Bernie shook that last thought away. This was all she wanted to think about for now.

Her arm was slung over Serena’s hip under the covers. Slowly, she drew her hand upwards to caress the soft fullness of her breast. She was warm, all curves and softness, and Bernie nestled closer, kissing the side of her neck where her lips fell. She was blissfully content, she realised, in a way she hadn’t been for months and months. The last time she’d felt a contentment like this was the morning after Kiev, when she woke slowly in Serena’s bed and found her already awake, gazing down at her with adoration, tracing the shape of her cheek with her fingertips. She’d wanted so badly to say she loved her then, because she did and always had, but it wasn’t until months later that she finally plucked up the courage.

These thoughts had just completed their circuit around her brain when Serena began to languidly stir in her arms. Bernie leaned in close to her ear, first to kiss and then to whisper _good morning darling_. Serena rolled over to face her with a soft murmur, eyes still closed.

“What time is it?” she mumbled sleepily.

Bernie propped herself up a little to look at the clock; Serena made a whimper of protest and tried to tug her back down. Bernie let her, grinning to herself as she pulled the duvet back over their shoulders. “Eight thirty,” she whispered back.

Serena opened her eyes a little, mapped out Bernie’s face with her fingertips and sighed as Bernie pulled her in closer, pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.

“I could stay like this all day,” she whispered.

“Me too.” Bernie considered. Could they? The bed was luxuriously warm and soft, and Serena in her arms the most exquisite of pleasures.

“I was…” Serena yawned and snuggled into Bernie. “…going to show you another one of my surprises today.”

There goes the staying in bed all day idea, Bernie thought, but she didn’t mind too much. “Is it a hidden-away country place?”

“That would be telling.”

“I thought as much.” Bernie began to stroke Serena’s hair, watching her partner’s lips curve into a sleepy smile. “Okay. Say there’s a beautiful sunset tonight. Is it the kind of place you could appreciate a beautiful sunset from?”

“Very much so.”

“I think it’s settled then. You can take me there this evening and we’ll watch the sunset together. I don’t think we’ve ever done that, have we?”

Serena opened her eyes to look at Bernie, who was smiling at her. She reached up to brush her fringe out of her eyes, marvelled silently at the adoration in them. “You know,” she said softly, “as much as you like to deny it, you’re a true romantic.”

Bernie grinned wolfishly. “Curses. Foiled again. Just promise you won’t tell anyone.”

“I’m afraid my silence will have to be earned.”

“Oh, will it?” The sparkle in Bernie’s eyes as she leaned in closer told Serena they were thinking along similar lines. “And how would I go about that?”

Serena leaned in closer still, letting her lips ghost over Bernie’s for a slow, tantalising second before moving back again. “Oh, I have a few ideas,” she murmured, letting Bernie’s lips silence her as she slid her hand down her body and between her legs.

\--

Some of them were walking distance away, Serena told her, and others required the wheels of a car. It seemed that Serena had been almost everywhere in her efforts to quell her grief, and some may say she’d succeeded as much as a mother grieving for her child ever could. Bernie would agree, watching her smiling now, holding tight to her hand, their fingers interlaced. The grass rustled beneath their feet, a light breeze ruffling their hair, but for the most part it was warm, the sun low in the sky behind them.

“How much further?”

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: your physical fitness has seriously deteriorated, darling.”

“Well, I didn’t run as much after you left. Turns out my motivation was knowing I could get back into bed with you afterwards.”

Serena smiled, but her face was a little wistful. “I miss that,” she confessed. “Though when you got back in with me you’d be all cold and that wasn’t very nice.”

“I used to put my nose against the back of your neck and you’d squeal and roll away from me,” Bernie said, snickering.

Serena narrowed her eyes. “I’ll do that to you one day. See how you like it when you’re all cosy and something cold gives you the shock of your life.”

She glanced at Bernie, who was smirking. “So,” she said, looking sideways at Serena, “ice play isn’t a road we’ll ever be going down?”

Serena gave her a playful shove. “Stop that, you devil.”

“Is that a no or a yes?”

“It’s neither. Now less talking, more walking. You’re starting to lag behind.” Serena tugged at Bernie’s hand so they were side-by-side again.

Bernie pouted a little, lacing their fingers tighter together. “Slave driver,” she muttered.

“I most certainly am not!” Serena let go of Bernie’s hand to prod her side. Bernie just smiled, put her arm around Serena’s waist instead, drew her in closer.

The vast expanse of grass around them was starting to narrow as they walked, and it was definitely slanting upwards now. Bernie closed her eyes for a moment as she walked, trusting Serena to guide her, and focused simply on the feeling of the breeze washing over her, the faint but charming sound of birdsong.

After a moment she opened her eyes and realised they were about halfway up a hill that she’d hardly even noticed was there.

“Bloody hell!”

“And we’re not even at the top yet, darling.”

“It’s almost hidden, isn’t it?” Bernie marvelled. “It’s such a subtle upward slant that you don’t realise how high up you’re going until you’re there.” And they were much higher now, she thought as she surveyed the land behind them. This was why Serena had brought them here, she realised; if you looked back, it gave you an almost perfect view of Marseille. It was beautiful, breathtakingly so, and the sun was blindingly bright and turning the sky more orange by the second.

“We’d better hurry up or we’ll miss that sunset.”

“Right. Lead on, Macduff.”

They were nearly there, Bernie panting a little and still lagging behind (“You need to go to the gym, darling. There’s a good one about twenty minutes’ drive away from my apartment, I’ll sign you up,”), when Serena stopped them once again to put her hands over Bernie’s eyes.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. I’ve seen the view already, Serena. Navigating me blindly along a pavement was one thing, but uphill?”

“Ssh.” Serena leaned in close to Bernie’s ear. “Trust me.”

And Bernie did, every step of the way.

When they finally reached the top, which Bernie figured out by the way her lungs slowed their wheezing, she sank to her knees and collapsed onto the grass.

“I’m dead,” she announced. “How long did that take?”

She opened her eyes a fraction to find Serena standing over her, looking both exasperated and amused at the same time.

“About twenty minutes.”

“Good God.” Bernie rolled onto her back as Serena sank down on the grass beside her. “You’re right, I do need to go to the gym.”

“Well…” Bernie could hear the mischief in Serena’s voice even with her eyes closed. “There are other ways of working out.” With these words Serena climbed atop her, reaching down to cup her cheek with her hand, smiling when Bernie’s eyes opened and gazed into hers, dark and full of promise.

“I like the way you think, Ms Campbell. However, we did climb this hill to watch a sunset, and if you insist on sitting on me I’m going to be thoroughly distracted.”

Serena grinned. “All right, sunset first. It can serve as a rather unorthodox form of foreplay.”

Bernie chuckled as she sat up beneath Serena so they were nose to nose. “You do know how to show a girl a good time.”

“I was very impressed by that when you first said it, until I realised it’s the only chat-up line you know.”

“That’s because I don’t need to think up any new ones now I have you.”

“Ooh. Touché, darling.”

They sat curled up on the hilltop together and Serena wrapped her big scarf around both of their necks to keep warm as they watched the sun dip below the horizon. Serena snuggled into Bernie’s shoulder, intentionally pressed her cold nose against her neck.

“You know it doesn’t work when the other person’s cold as well, right?”

“Whatever can you mean?” Serena looked up at her, feigning innocence. Bernie huffed out a laugh and kissed her, quick and soft, and Serena knew this was the happiest she’d been since coming to France by a mile.

“I used to come here to think about Elinor,” she confessed, after a moment of silence. She saw Bernie turn to look at her out of the corner of her eye. “On the first evening I arrived, I walked all the way out here without really knowing where I was going. It felt remote even though I could still see the town, and, I don’t know, I suppose I grew to love it. I came out every day, just to clear my head. After a while it became a very special place to me, although I suppose it’s nothing special really. Just a hill. But it…it helped, in the early stages.”

She took a deep breath, turned to face Bernie. Her eyes were soft and sad and full of love, and she squeezed her hand, encouraging her to continue.

“And then, after a while, I stopped coming. It felt as though it had run its course…I couldn’t spend every day dwelling on Elinor, breaking my heart even more. But I wanted to bring you here. To share it with you.”

Serena could feel she was on the brink of tears, so she stopped talking, but Bernie was there. Bernie was tracing soft fingertips over her cheek. Bernie was kissing her with an infinite tenderness that made her heart melt. Bernie was whispering that it was beautiful, that she loved it, that she loved her. She _loved_ her.

\--

It was dark by the time they rose from the grass.

“I think my arse has frostbite.”

“We’ll be home in bed in half an hour. And then tomorrow morning you can wake me up with your cold nose.” Serena found Bernie’s hand in the darkness as they unsteadily began to make their way down the hill. Every step felt as though it might send them plunging south.

“Aha! So ice play’s still on the table after all.”

“Berenice bloody Wolfe, will you stop being a pain. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to get us down this hill without breaking both our necks.”

“So if we fell, that would make me…quite literally…a pain in the neck?”

“I _knew_ you’d be like this, I just _knew_ it. Mark my words, there’ll be no advanced physical manoeuvres for you tonight.”

Bernie fumbled for Serena’s waist, held on tight to it, kissed her temple in the darkness. “Whatever you say, love,” she murmured against her cool skin. “Whatever you say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *psst* Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and kudos thus far. They make my day.  
> Chapter 7 may take a little bit longer as college commitments are piling up, but I'll try my best to get it out ASAP.  
> Xo Ren


End file.
